I don’t check my blog’s spam filter very often, so there was a lot of material in there when I peeked into the bin of gibbering nonsense the other day. Whoever said spam bots are utterly useless was not entirely correct– they’re occasionally good for a laugh.

An old post from February of last year, Tackling More Questionable Writing Advice, has been bizarrely and inexplicably popular with the bots. Over the last month they’ve left hundreds of comments on it. (If anyone has any idea why, I’d be happy to hear your theories. What’s the point of spamming a post that’s over a year old?)

Today I’m going to respond to some of the most hilarious, ridiculous, insulting and asinine comments, so that you too can have a laugh at spammers’ expense. (Content warning for blistering comebacks, random humor, and occasional profanity.) 

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It’s time for another installment of Fun with Spammers, in which the author takes apart a hapless spammer and subjects him to a brutal round of mockery. Do spammers annoy you too? Then this series is for you!

A marketing pitch turn up in my contact form submissions recently, wedged at the bottom of the bin like a moldy sandwich someone tossed into the postal drop. As an author, I see a lot of marketing pitches– and dubious ones at that. But few have been as dubious or as far off the mark as this one.

Continue reading “Fun With Spammers II”

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KDP Print

As most authors who used CreateSpace are aware, last fall Amazon axed the service in order to increase enrollment in their new KDP Print program. What follows is an account of my transition to the new service and how books printed by KDP compare to those from CreateSpace.

This tale holds a couple of important caveats for anyone with books currently being printed by KDP. You’ll also probably get the feeling that I’m not a huge fan of Amazon– and it’s true, I’m not. I’m not a fan of any massive, industry-dominating corporate entity that makes a few people disgustingly wealthy at the expense of buyers, small businesses, and content creators.

Continue reading “KDP Print: A Word of Warning”

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Recently I stumbled across a thread where a group of fans were emphatically agreeing that the protagonists of a book should have been written as 19-22 instead of 14-18.

“Kaz acts more like 20-21 than 17. Like I understand traumas and life can force kids to grow up too fast, but his whole personality and maturity seems better suited for someone older. Even 19 would be better than 17.”

Here’s why this is a ridiculous stance to take.

Continue reading “Realism In Writing: Character Age”

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Some changes are coming to this site, including a redesigned Books page and some back end optimizations. Little should change for you, the visiting reader, but this is a heads up that you may see a little mess while upgrades take place behind the scenes.

I’ll still cover the same subjects I do now, and the website will still have the same components. The overall look and layout of the site shouldn’t change much either. If you spot anything that shouldn’t be there or that seems broken, kindly leave a comment or use the contact form to drop me a note.

While these updates were going to take place gradually inbetween scheduled posts, the recent rollout of WordPress 5.0 has led several important site components to go belly up and/or randomly attack each other. I spent a lot of time on these issues this weekend, and unfortunately fixing them superseded putting up this weekend’s post. I apologize for any disappointment that may cause.

In the meantime, thanks for hanging around. Your support and readership is always appreciated!

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Editor dictionary definition

Last week I explained why editing is essential to the publishing process and how to go about snagging your very own helpful editor. This week I’m going to explain some money-saving shortcuts you can take to reach a professional, polished final product without breaking the bank.

While you should never forgo professional editing entirely, there are plenty of things you can do to produce a cleaner manuscript that will require less professional help.

Continue reading “Editing On A Budget”

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Editor dictionary definition

Continuing from last week’s post, where I talked about the reason some writers are wary of editors, this week I’m going to explain how to find an editor of your own. (Or editors, if that’s how you roll.)

Editing is an essential part of preparing your work for publication, whether you write short stories, novellas, or full length novels. No matter how strong your-self editing game is, a manuscript can always benefit from a second, trained set of eyes.

Here’s why.

Continue reading “How to Catch an Editor And Why You Should”

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Editor dictionary definition

If you ask a random sampling of indie authors how they feel about editors, you’ll probably get a wide range of responses.

Some have worked with editors they loved from the start. Some had a few false leads before they found the right editor. And many have a notebook full of advice on what (and occasionally who) to avoid. (That advice can vary from author to author, especially on the subject of what an editor should charge.)

Lastly, especially among the unpublished and those who haven’t worked with an editor, you’ll probably find a surprising amount of distrust and dislike. Some people attribute this to fear of criticism. The thing is, it’s not that simple.

Continue reading “Editors: Trust, Confidentiality, and Mutual Respect”

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Context Matters. Understanding PTSD: Context Is Key

It’s common knowledge that for people with post traumatic stress, post traumatic stress disorder, or complex PTSD, common social situations can cause unexpected reactions. For example, most of us have known a veteran who religiously avoided crowds or went out of town around fireworks holidays.

Some people may see this as an illogical reaction to a harmless situation, but context is important. To you, the crack and boom of fireworks mean good times and excitement. For them, the sound of exploding shells may mean “Incoming! Take cover!!” A seemingly benign situation can have vastly different connotations in the context of our individual experiences– and none of those interpretations are necessarily wrong.

In this post I explain why– but first, a little background.

Continue reading “Understanding PTSD: Context Is Key”

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Missing Money: Ingram Spark, Royalty Payments, and Hidden Restriction

The first books I sold through Ingram Spark (Lightning Source’s independent author print-on-demand service) were purchased way back in early January of this year. After a phenomenally long 90 day holding period, I received notification that compensation for those sales would be paid out on May 1st, 2018.

Only it wasn’t.

It wasn’t a huge amount of money and I receive small payments from a wide array of sources each month, so it wasn’t until early June that I realized I’d never received any payment from Ingram Spark. After double-checking that my compensation information was complete and accurate, I contacted them. Here’s what happened and what I learned.

Continue reading “Ingram Spark, Compensation, and Unspoken Restrictions”

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